Why happily married people get into extra marital affairs

You would have promised a lifetime together, a life of unwavering loyalty, of getting old together, and staying together through good and bad times when you took your wedding vows. But as years pass by, you start discovering the glitches in your 'happily ever after.’ The spurt of love you felt for your spouse, turns into monotony and then enters the one we call an extra marital affair.

In most of the cases, the one whom you fall for is also married. Both of you enter it just for fun and assume that you both can handle the relationship easily, without disturbing your married lives. With this special one, life suddenly becomes perfect again. The new person with whom you have the affair makes your soul feel connected and you enjoy great sex too. You begin understanding each other so well – something that seemed to have gone missing from your marriage.

An extra marital affair brings together three primary elements: a secretive relationship (something which is the foundation of an affair), a sexual alchemy; and an emotional connection. On thing those entering extra marital affairs underestimate the most is their emotions for one another. Emotions change the dynamics of an affair faster than they know. Sexual emotions are known to be the strongest human emotions and they can make you vulnerable to such an extent that you cannot comprehend at the beginning.

In a woman's brain, sex and love are wired together, and in men’s case, love means love and sex means sex. Men rarely confuse the two. Most extramarital affairs end due to mismatch of emotional and sexual needs.

Every relationship, including an extra marital affair, has a honeymoon period. This honeymoon period is all about feeling loved, feeling wanted and feeling alive. And once this period ends, it again starts to get boring. In general, the duration of the sustenance of an extra-marital affair is not too long. It can last for as short as a few months to as long as a few years.

You like it or not, extra marital affairs are here to stay. They are there to happen in your neighborhood and are bound to end too. And whenever they end, they will not only end up in betrayal or hurt but in lessons of discovery and evolution.